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ajays.rediffiland.com/
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Love and Maths
( when maths teacher writes love letter ) My Dear SweetHeart, Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with our cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
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आज... तो रस्ता मला पाहून आज हसला
म्हणाला प्रेमात बिचारा फ़सला
हो ती हवा आजही तिथेच होती
नेहमी तुझे केस विसकटणारी
तो गाडयाचां गलकाही तिथे होता
रोज तुझ्या माझ्या वादंवर हसणारा
त्या वळणाने मला आवाज दिला खरा
पण आज मी मागे वळून पाहीलच नाही
रोज माझ्यावर हजार नजरा खिळत होत्या
आज कोणी माझ्याकडे पाहीलच नाही
आज किमंत कळाली तुझ्या सोबतीची मला
आज सारखं चुकल्या सारखं वाटत होत
पावले चालत होती पण वाट संपेनाच माझी
आज एक युदध हरल्या सारख वाटत होत
आज सगळ्याच्या मनात प्रश्न होता एकच
रोज दोघं असतात पण आज हा एकच
उत्तर होत जरी एकटाच असलो तरी
तुझ्या आठवणी आहेत माझ्या सोबतीला
पण खरचं कुठेतरी चद्रांचीही गरज
असतेच ना सागराच्या भरती आहोटीला...
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Winners of a slogan contest organized by a leading newspaper:
# Sign on a railway station at Patna :
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye to khana free.
# Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay :
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!
# Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.
# Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay :
We need your heads to run our business.
# A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.....
# THE BEST ONE:
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
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If you loves someone....
THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....
**********
THE NEW VERSIONS.....
**********
Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free .................
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
**********
Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free .................
Don't worry, she will come back.
**********
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free .................
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
**********
Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free .................
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her
Free again, repeat *
**********
Bill Gates :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but
Tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
**********
Finance expert :
If you love someone
Set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
**********
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काय म्हणता काळ बदलला
काय म्हणता काळ बदलला
पूर्वीचा काळ सुखाचा
आता नाही कोण कुणाचा
तोच प्रवास, तोच रस्ता
वीट आलाय या जीवनाचा
मान्य आहे इंधन महागल्य
पण कधी पहाटे लवकर उठून
घन:श्याम सुंदरा ऐकल्य?
ते राहुद्या, सूर्योदयाच मनोहर रूप
शेवटाच केंव्हा पहिलाय ?
मान्य आहे तुम्ही खूप धावपळ करता,
एकाच वेळी अनेक ठिकाणी असता
पण पहिलाय कधी पोर्णिमेचा चंद्र
कोजागिरी वगळता?
तृण मखमलीवर आकाश पांघरूण
मोजळ्यात कधी चांदण्या रात्र सरता
मान्य आहे पौलवत्ांचे हमरस्ते झालेत
मनाचे कप्पे अरुंध झालेत.
जरी करीत असाल तुम्ही इंटरनेटवर हजारो मित्र
पाठवीत ही असाल ढिगाणी ईमेल आणि चीत्र
पण कुणाला पाठवलाय कधी एखाद
50 पैशाच आंत्रदेशीय पत्र?
आणि लुटलाय का कधी पोस्टमन कडून
शुभेच्छा तार स्वीकार्ल्याचा आनंद?
मान्य आहे, जीवनमान बदलल्य,
पालटलाय साराच नूर
आम्हालाही पडते आजकाल
डीजे पार्त्यांची भूल
पण ऐकलाय का हो कधी
रेडिओवर 11 चा बेला के फूल?
मला नाही कळट अस काय झाल्य
की ज्याने आपल सार वीश्वच बदललाय
सूर्य नाही बदलला, चंद्र ही नाही बदलला
काळ आहे तिथेच आहे तो नाही बदलला
तुमचा आमचा पाहण्याचा नजरीया बदलला.
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The ABCL Corporation Ltd.
ANAND jab BOMBAY TO GOA gaya to DON ban gaya.
Uske raaste ke pathar KABHI KABHI uski MILLI ke KASME VAADE ki tarah ABHIMAAN paida kar oose PARWANA ban NE par MAJBOOR kar deta the.
BARSAAT KI EK RAAT mein LAAWARIS dil me SHOLAY bhadak uthe. Logon se YAARANA badhakar ye SAUDAGAR apna KHOON PASINA bahata hua ek SILSILA jamata raha.
Lekin hai re NASEEB! Ek NAMAK HALAAL par ek NAMAK HARAAM NE TRISHUL phek kar oose KHUDDAR se DESH DROHI bana diya.
ANDHA KANOON aur ADAALAT kabhi is MR. NATWARLAL ko GIRAFTAAR na kar sake. Who MAHAAN se NAASTIK ban kar kabhi AMAR AKBAR ANTHONY, kabhi SHARABI, kabhi KAALIA, kabhi COOLIE ban at. Aur kabhi HERA PHERI kar SATTE PE SATTA marta.
Lekin ek din wo KAALA PATHTHAR ek DESH PREMI ban gaya. Oos MARD me ek SHAKTI jaagi aur wo MUQADDAR KA SIKANDAR samay ki GANGA JAMNA SARASWATI paar kar SHAHENSHAH ban gaya!
HUM ye nahi jaante ke kal KOUN BANEGA CROREPATI? Sirf itna jaante hai ki agar aap ko bhi iis AGNEEPATH aur KOHRAM se guzar na hai to to aap bhi AAJ KA ARJUN ban kar dekh lo.
AKELA nikal pado TOOFAN ki tarah AAKHRI RASTA ki taraf! Agar MRITYUDAATA bane to hathon me ZANZEER hogi aur apne aap ko DEEWAR ke ander paoge. Aur MAJOR SAAB bane to RAAM BALRAAM ki tarah SHAAN se AJOOBA paoge . . . .
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Fastest thing in the World
Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT University and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job.
One common question was asked to all of them.
INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD ?
YALE Guy: It is Light, nothing can travel faster than Light.
HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.
MIT Guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it's hard to realize you blinked
SANTA SINGH: Its Loose Motion
INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply) "WHY"?
SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over !!
O' Bolo Tararara!!
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